Meeting Nick (Just wow)



So yesterday my manager/bessie-mate Luke, me, and my girlfriend Jess all went down to Bignor Church. No we didn't go and pray, instead we went and saw Nick Symes, head of the festival. After a brief greeting we were lead to a reasonably large picturesque field behind the church, Nick described what was going to happen on the two nights (Saturday and Sunday) and we then offered a free demo.

Nick then walked off for a long time, trying to gather a crowd.

Two things then happened, Omens probably.



The church across from the hanging site, anyone seen The Wicker Man?



First a huge buzzing swarm of bees passed right in front of us, so close that we all had to hit the grass and lie down flat. It's insane, I know. After a few minutes of WTF they passed and a lady trundled over and asked if it was a swarm of bees, she then said she needed a swarm for her empty hive. This was when she walked off TOWARDS THE DIRECTION OF THE SWARM. 

As if that wasn't unusual enough, we then started practising before the crowd arrived. Luke was juggling a few balls, Jess was just staring at the hills. Meanwhile I picked up a machete and somehow I managed to unsheathe it in such a way that I cut my index finger, a good prelude to a performance. Luke was like 'Well done' and immediately as I acknowledged the small cut it started streaming blood. Great.



Luke acted as medic and plastered the wound so I didn't bloody the equipment, then a long while after Nick arrived.

Many things made me smile, Luke's general stage-banter, everyone standing metres back, and what the crowd said. "You aren't gonna juggle that are ya?" by now I was holding a meat cleaver, machete, and a sickle. "Oh please don't tell me you're gonna walk on those with your bare feet!" Luke was about to walk on the machete-bed.

Overall it was a mediocre performance as we didn't bring much equipment, we then said goodbye to Nick and his helpers and returned to Luke's parking skills. He had left the car on a crossroads, on a 40% sideways slant, on a tiny patch of grass. The same tiny patch of grass where criminals used to get hanged until death.

Ladies and Gentlemen, an update.

Due to the extreme force of the rat trap I bought yesterday, I have decided to make a mouse trap bat instead. Several mousetraps should make up for my blatent cowardice towards possibly having my fingers broken by a huge "Little Nipper" trap.

Another fruitless search for the appropriate nails ended in disappointment, so again I have to say no nailbed yet. Anyone for a goose-chase?

On another note, I emailed Doktor Haze from The Circus Of Horrors and asked for work experience, I have yet to recieve a reply. Very nervous.
Spent hours today searching for possible costumes (how unprofessional not to have a costume, that's what happens if you don't budget time!)

What makes things even worse is that I have 2 followers, TWO! What is wrong with the world? Not even a comment on the page, how disappointing.

Still haven't practised for the Bignor event, need to rehearse jumping off of a machete bed on to a bed of glass whilst screaming for theatrical effect!

The last part of this post can be a question post, any queries can be asked here and I will reply when I can.

Thankyou, invisible audience.  

Rat-trap Bat, Professional Photographer (still no bowling ball)

The time has come for me to make my own danger-club, something completely unique and outrageous. A rat-trap bat constructed from a stair bannister and four loaded traps.
Despite searching everywhere for a bowling ball, I have had no such luck, I may have to steal one.

My dream trick would be; eating glass with two spoons or nails up my nose, walking on glass, juggling a chainsaw, bowling ball with knives stuck in it, and this new contraption of horror - the rat-bat.
Oh and just to up the danger, Luke (my partner in crime) will be breathing fire on me as I do this. MADMADMAD!

Luke happened to find a photographer in a pub somewhere, and probably in the same pub he found another man who would like a booking for a musical event. Pubs are very good for business!

No news on the bed of nails yet. Fail.

Waking up sleepy Bignor

On Sat 2nd and 3rd of July I will be hitting Bignor with a performance full of sharp and firey things.

Sadly, Luke is busy at this date and will not attend for the most of the time.

For more information on the (apparently) popular Bignor Weed and Wildflower festival here is a link:  http://bigweed.bignorchurch.org/?reloaded=true

Meanwhile, I conjured up another dangerous trick; juggling a carrot, either a juggling ball or a fire club, and a meat cleaver. I then take bites of the carrot as I juggle. Only cutting my finger once!

Luke gave some bad news the other day, the busking license was declined for Arundel, so you may just have to see us in Chichester (maybe near that Christian book shop, ha ha!)

Note: To those who saw me eat and breathe fire outside Chichester college on Tuesday, thanks for NOT CLAPPING! Rude lot.

I keep saying I'll put pictures up, anytime soon I promise. Be patient. I'm still awaiting the completion of the nail-bed, rattrap bat, knifed bowling ball, and a few other things like our costumes.

Progress is slow *sigh*

Turn the danger to 11...

Yes, after much thought and Googling, there is a strong possibility that I may juggle chainsaws, correction - a chainsaw. Juggling broken bottles and eating a lightbulb is currently in the works too, along with bigger fire breathing flames and a trick with a sledge hammer and a breeze block.

The much awaited Bed Of Swords is finally complete and pictures will be up soon for all you sadists out there! The Nail Bed is being built this week, after searching tirelessly for exactly the right nails (Polish men don't know much about nails, really.)
I juggle and juggle and yet all I can do is flash 7 balls, but nevermind as I have thought of something completely insane, but all will be revealed...  Pics soon.

Meanwhile enjoy this incredible picture of a fire breather!

No, I'm not the one in the picture.

Most Dangerous Show In Sussex!

Roll up! Roll up!
Ever seen a person unicycle on a mans chest as he is lying on a bed of broken wine bottles? It's all real and has spawned from 6-7 years of practice and people saying "You can't do THAT!" well we can.

I specialise in the sharp and flamey side of things, whereas Luke is near-expert in unicycling and general comedy tomfoolery, he is also very useful in dealing with the more Health And Safety conscious worriers, "It's ok, we've been doing this two weeks."

Upcoming things in the system will be bullwhip cracking, fire eating, possibly glass eating and obviously more poi stunts and combination tricks (where many dangers are combined for your viewing pleasure!)

Stay tuned for more, oh and if you find someone more dangerous and daring than Out Of The Box then message us.